i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
