in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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