We won't sleep together?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
