sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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