We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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