it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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