Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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