My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
