I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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