When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
