Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
