if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just puked most of my soul out..
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