Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
