Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
