Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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