Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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