woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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