My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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