it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
