Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
