You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize