He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
It's just like the Real World with babies
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
