I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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