I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
he had hair everywhere except his balls
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
