if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
