i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
