it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
