I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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