can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
