Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize