i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
