'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
