i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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