I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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