she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
