A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Alive.
So much puke
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
