My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My hand turned me down
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
