i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
