If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
