Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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