Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
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I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
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I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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