did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
