Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Even my vagina gasped.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Randomize
