apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
