It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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