He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
