found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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