So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I got inside last night via doggy door
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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