Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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