I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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