So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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