remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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