dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
