Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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