i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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