K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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